Mercy for the Miserable

I have come to a new appreciation of mercy in recent weeks. It began with an unexpected, and equally unwelcome, intrusion in my life. I was approached by someone from my past who proposed that we reestablish communication. Quite honestly, I want nothing whatsoever to do with this person, and my gut-level reaction was to shut that door as tightly and quickly as possible.

That's when God got in on the action. Suddenly, everywhere I went my head was resounding with a verse from the book of Micah. It started in the shower..."love mercy" began echoing against the tile. Well, not literally, but it was enough to get my attention. I looked up the entire verse: "He has told you, O man, what is good; And what the Lord requires of you, But to do justice, to love kindness [mercy], and to walk humbly with your God."

It put me into such a tizzy to even entertain thoughts of mercy toward this person that I actually consulted my Pastor. He had some good suggestions, but no true answers--not that I had expected any. I basically tabled it after that point. I was frustrated with knowing what God said, but still unsure of how to put it to action in my situation. Then, Monday, I saw my OB. The visit proved once again that God works in mysterious ways.

I was right when I last wrote--the huge baby, the ultrasound, the 4 weeks. None of it mattered one stinking bit. When I reminded the doctor that if she stuck to her due date (Feb 8th) the baby would be roughly 12.5 pounds, she simply shrugged and said, "Yup, another big one for you."

I was hurt. Desperate. And later, furious. I began to feel as though she ought to have shown a little more compassion. Even if she insisted on being hard-headed, on leaving the due date untouched, of dooming me to who-knows-how-many more weeks of discomfort--even if she was still going to do all that, at least she could have been sympathetic to my concerns. Perhaps a little hand-holding or molly-coddling w0uld have made the news I had already expected a bit more tolerable to hear.

Sympathy. Compassion. I know I'm at that point in pregnancy when every woman just wants the kid OUT. Now. I know she sees women in my same situation 30 times a day. But I wanted her to recognize my pain these past couple of weeks, my need to have hope that this will be over sometime soon.

Mercy. What I wanted from her was mercy. I came home yearning for someone to comfort me To reassure me that this isn't forever. To hold my hand and help me cope. Pleading for mercy like air. How then can I withould it from another? Not that I understand exactly how to go about things--it is a complicated situation and there are safety issues to be concerned about. But mercy requires so little--just a word of compassion. Just a touch of reassurance.

I have to laugh a bit now at the phrasing God uses in that verse..."to love mercy." The truth, I think, is that we already do love mercy. We need mercy. We beg for mercy. Here is God, commanding we show to others something we already innately desire for ourselves. The challenge then, is simply to act it out. To go from emotion to demonstration. Like Jesus, who wept for the sadness of man and then died to free him of it.

Mercy is both the counterpoint and companion to judgement. I felt sentenced by my OB--remanded to custody of this kid for another 2 months. I wanted her to extend some hope of early parole. I wanted it to be a little less 'you do the crime, you do the time' and a little more 'let's make a deal.'

God's judgement is complete. There is no 'let's make a deal' option. But His mercy offers parole in paradise for our eternal souls through the sacrifice of Christ. His rules are very clear, but His compassion is all-encompassing. It is in emulating these things that I can learn to walk humbly with my God.

"Bring my soul out of prison,

So that I may give thanks to Thy name;

The righteous will surround me,

For Thou wilt deal bountifully with me."

--Psalm 142:7