Sunday Selah

As I prepare
with brushes and glosses
colors and jars and fragrance
to come before You
I dress my heart
with worship
tying on ribbons of praise
changing out of the
old, dirty clothing of sin
putting on pure garments
knit with grace
falling softly like song
warming my soul
with the warmth of Your worth
And after jasmine and jewels
I strap on sandals
ready to pursue Your Presence
Yet suddenly seeing
that shoes have no meaning
For I must come before You
on my knees

Best Friends

My 3 year old son has many friends, any one of which, depending on the day, could be his "best" friend. Occasionally this role is owned by Chip--as in Potato Chip, the stuffed monkey he sleeps with. Sometimes it belongs to Sport--an imaginary friend that stops in every so often to play. Lately it seems the honor belongs more often to real live human companions like Alex, Casey, or Autumn. I've even heard the dog win the title once in a while.




We adults tend to avoid the use of the superlative word altoghter. We have coworkers, "close" friends, "old" friends, and a hundred other designations. But we don't feel it is fair to have just one "best" friend. After all, who would we choose?



Would the friend I've known the longest, who was right there with me through all those silly school crushes, first jobs, first cars, and first dates be the one? What about the friend who could tell you most anything about me after sharing an apartment for half a dozen years? Or maybe the one who became a spiritual mentor? One of the ones who have become like family to me? Or could it be the friend I married? And what about God? Where does He fit in to the best friend line-up?



I cannot claim to have the corner on solutions to this dilemna. All I can say is that, for today, neither the monkey nor the mentor win. Today the award goes to a precious, pregnant soul who measured her very maternal belly on my behalf. (No offense to my other friends--all of you are the "best" in your own special way.) Finally I can order my bridesmaid dress with confidence that my bump won't burst it. Many thanks to GW--you have more style than any magazine could muster.

Two are better than one for they have a good reward for their labor;

for if one falls his friend will lift him up...Eccl 4:9-10a

Sunday's Selah

This post is coming a couple of days late due to an internet outage. Its a new feature on the blog (ooh, that sounds important!)--I've decided to post some poetry weekly.

Come With Casserole

I came to Your house today
And sang in Your parlor to Your piano
I listened as You spoke
Heard Your very words
Then I left
No hug hello
No handshake
I left empty
For all the time we sat together
I never reached out
To touch Your heart
Call me, Lord
Come by with casserole
Pursue me beyond acquaintance
Until at last
I yield my whole life
To Your friendship

Walking Grapes

I am just days away from purchasing a bridesmaid dress for a dear friend's wedding. The wedding is taking place just days before Christmas. Being a teacher by profession, it was either Christmas break or Easter. Of course, she's so starry-eyed over her fiancee that waiting until April was adding an extra eternity. I'm thrilled for her.

The catch is, I will be as big as a doublewide by December. I know this to be a fact based on my two previous pregnancies--and the nine-pound babies they resulted in. I never bothered to measure my abdomen (who wants to know???) This is turning out to be a mistake. When ordering an expensive dress with even more expensive alteration costs, not knowing what size to pre-order is proving challenging--and XXXL simply isn't an option in upscale clothing. Combined with extra fabric costs, major alterations could run as much as the dress itself. Ouch.

My friend was very generous in picking a dress. We went around town one day and tried on everything we could find (not much out there in maternity sizes). We found a couple that might work--nice, stretchy fabric. Ample room for the bust and belly. I'm hoping the style we eventually chose will be kind to my eight-month along physique.

The last hurdle happens to be the bride's favorite color. She has always loved purples--the last gift I got her was an amethyst necklace. We actually had a lilac kitchen in the apartment we shared in college. For the wedding she has chosen aubergine. Think just short of eggplant, with a little red grape juice thrown in to give it a slightly less deep shade. With my basketball belly and my florid face I should look exactly like a walking grape. Maybe if I add heels (ha! my cankles would kill me!) I could manage the slightly more elegant eggplant look.

All's fair in love and war, right? Even a pregant and purple matron of honor.

A Time for Everything

Sometimes, it is best not to procrastinate. Wedding plans, for example--or someone sells your reception hall, as a dear friend of mine recently discovered. Christmas shopping. Visectomy appointments (this in hindsight). Some things, however, are truly wonderful when they get delayed a bit. Jury duty, dental work, road construction...the kinds of things we aren't so eager to experience, despite whatever benefits they may bring. I have now added to this list OB appointments.

My next appointment was due to be Monday--just two short days from now. I am, according to the most recent calculations, finally through the first trimester--but just barely, at 15 weeks. Since every OB appointment after the first has put my due date further back, and thereby extended the eternity of this pregnancy considerably, I decided I had better wait until I had a better margin between me and that first trimester before going in again.

I did keep today's appointment for more bloodwork. I am secretly hoping my thyroid is still off since that would begin to explain the extreme fatigue that continues to plague me. Although having 3 kids, working part-time, moving offices, and suffering from chronic nausea and insomnia might also be factors. The thyroid at least I could do something about. Just up the dosage, doc. The rest of this crazy life I appear to have much less influence over.

I found it interesting, in reviewing that most popular passage in Ecclesiastes 3, that of all the measures and moments of life that are listed "There is a time to sleep and a time to wake" didn't make the cut. Still, it's wisdom on life begins with a most appropriate--for me--reminder that everything has its appointed time. This baby will come at God's appointed time (unless I can convince the doctor to move up the natural timetable, of course). And the OB visits will continue at their appointed times. Its just that the "appointed time"for this next one has been changed a bit.

"There is an appointed time for everything.

And there is a time for every event under heaven--"

Ecc 3:1

When life hands you a lemon...

Well, despite not posting for two weeks (sorry, those of you who actually take time to read this!) a lot has been going on. I feel like I'm running every second of the day, with very little personal time lately. I kept meaning to get to the computer, but it just never happened.

Anyhow, the latest development has been difficult for me to deal with. Strangers are starting to notice that I'm pregnant. I suppose this is only natural since I am (finally) through the first trimester, but it has still been a bit depressing. Last week at work, it happened for the first time in a very crowded elevator. Some little asian woman who must work somewhere in my building asked me simply "When are you due?" I hestitated a bit before answering. I'm embarrassed to say February--I feel like I shouldn't be showing yet. So then I added "Its amazing how soon you show by the third time around."

The next episode followed shortly on the heels of the first. It was this past Saturday, at my sister-in-law's 25th wedding anniversary. I had been asked to sing at the renewal-of-the-vows ceremony. The song was a bit shaky, I think, although everyone says I did fine. Still, it was one of the comments afterward that really stuck out. Instead of "You were off the beat on the first verse" or "I though you were a little pitchy"--reminders of American Idol, anyone?--I heard "Yes, I already guessed she is pregnant. She's showing a bit." The comment was directed to my mother-in-law, who, bless her heart, was trying to brag about her latest (and, dear Father in Heaven, last!) grandchild-to-be.

The most bothersome aspect of it all is that my doctor took me to task at my last appointment for losing weight. Why in the world my stomach can stretch, my clothes get too tight and yet my weight go down is beyond me. All the science and biology lessons in the world simply can't make this equation compute in my head. All I see is a little more of me in exactly all the places I long to have less of!

Still, I try to remember that the peanut butter cup is now about the size of a nice lemon. And you know what they say when life hands you a lemon... Perhaps if I add enough sugar, it will sweeten the sour taste left behind by comments on my size.

Average Size: 3-4 inches, 1.5 ounces. Development: Kicks, punches, and can suck thumb.

Auburn for Autumn

Every pregnancy, my hair does this 'au-natural' thing. In other words, it gets dull, grey, and thick. Up until recently, I have suffered through as my roots grew in darker. Two things prevented me from doing something about this indignancy.

The first is that any pregnant woman who dyes her hair takes her life in her hands. Those wicked hormones tend to mess with some dyes and can give rather frightening results. I myself have had flaming orange, and occasionally slightly sickening green, neither flattering colors--but especially not on my head!

The second has been my constant, and extreme, nausea. With the pills, I get by pretty well most days, but being so very sensitive to smells hasn't encouraged me to mess with hair dye. So, when I recently saw a commercial for Clairol Nice-n-Easy Perfect 10 claiming they had created a "why smell terrible?" hair color, it caught my attention. Tonight, my stomach felt safe enough to give it a try.

At the moment, I have gone auburn for autumn. The shade may be a bit of a shock, but the experience wasn't too bad. The color works just as fast as they promised--10 minutes--and indeed the smell was much better than usual. I've never gone quite this dark before, but I figure it may give me a little more time before I have to mess with a root touch-up. Of course, with such a painless process, I might not have to worry so much.