Real Time

So, after my last post, a smattering of concern came my direction. Apparently, two melancholy entries in a row are a dangerous symptom of depression, speedily addressed by those I call true friends. In response, I am here to admit that not all my posts are uploaded in 'real time.'

As my world is run by those of ages under 5, there is often a significant lag between prose and post. I find that often my inspirations are shelved in a shed at the back of my mind until such time as I have a moment to bring them out and put them in print. Similarly, sticky notes and assorted slices of serviettes have often been the receptacle of my musings until finally I gather them together to transpose onto something much less likely to be lost.

The circular file sees a lot of my stuff, I fear. By the time I have the opportunity to sit and study something, I decide it isn't worth the effort required to polish it up. Still, when recently reminded of my literary daring (did I really confess to writing a book???), I thought I'd best post something. I chose poorly... Not only a rough work which I didn't take the time to refine, but also something written months ago, in the midst of a depressing bout of difficult circumstances. It's only merit was in being written on a scrap paper rescued from a pocket prior to washing.

Still, friends, when writing a book, there must first come the rough draft. Remember English class? A book begins as bare bones of a concept only partially fleshed out, and imperfect in most any means imaginable. This is what I have begun to create...a skeleton, stripped and ugly, and truth be told, just as brittle as dry bones. I hesitate to share it, for critique may nail its coffin closed. I resist the attempt to flesh it out in the realization that the entire effort may be wasted on a work destined to remain dead. I have so few breaths of my own that aren't already claimed by some obligation, that to spend them in an attempt to breathe life into something bigger than my own refreshment will simply have to wait until I can find some honest-to-goodness real time.