I was left a modest budget within which to accomplish said entertainment. Given that the past week has entailed a complete--and completely unexpected--remodel of our bathroom, I was grateful to have a few funds to take the kids out. Unfortunately, only hours after the spouse split, half my entertainment budget was sucked away by the need to rent a carpet cleaner. A particularly nasty mess became a singularly discouraging beginning to my week of single-parenthood. Add to that an ambitious friend, who encouraged me to tackle an incomplete project, and its "goodbye" to going out.
My emotional reserves are as fragile as my finances. This past week has already sapped my strength; slogging the upcoming one solo simply exhausts me further. Even with distractions by daddy, the little ones and I are often in melt-down mode by dinner. Bedtime around here means repeated trips upstairs to tuck in the toddler and tame the rage of the crib-caged baby. Although I have survived the occasional evening, I feel less than confident that I can cope with the chaos for a week sans assistance.
A little emotional distance and spiritual refreshment are definitely in order. I planned to tuck myself into my nine o'clock ice cream, and subsequently into my bed with my Bible. Unfortunately, my peaceful space for reflection was invaded by my youngest son. His scathing screams were impossible to ignore so I took pity on his brother and removed the little guy from their shared room. I'd normally get angry at him, but he was only expressing what I am repressing: the deep desire to share my fear and frustration with the world. Despite circumstances which demanded I forgo the Good Book and instead say goodnight, God had just enough time to remind me that, unlike my sight-seeing spouse and my traveling teen, He is always here.
"Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them,
for the Lord your God goes with you.
He will never leave you nor forsake you."
--Deuteronomy 31:6
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