Birthday Bouquet

Today was my birthday. All in all, not that big a deal since I'm now older than I really want to admit. Still, for me, it was a milestone date. Not that it was one of those "important" birthdays, but because as of today I have lived 12 years past a birthday I never thought I'd see.

I grew up in a tough situation. Praise the Lord my kids won't have to live through something like that! I never thought I'd live to see my 21st birthday. I repeatedly tried to take my own life. People say how strong I am, how I'm a survivor. People don't see the real reason I'm still here.

His name is GOD. Seriously, I know that some of the dearest people in my life figure its just a nice way I have of dealing with my history. Ha! Its more like the way He has of dealing with me! Like today...

The entire message at church this morning was all about how God has plans for us, plans for our welfare and not to harm us. Plans to give us a future and hope. Plans for the impossible is what it sounded like as a 16-year old kid fresh from a horrid situation. Plans no one else could promise. Even though they all said it would be "OK," I knew nobody could really make that happen. Nobody was strong enough except maybe God. Especially since my whole life at the time felt like I'd somehow jumped from the frying pan and into the fire. So, I asked Him, almost challenged Him, to make that verse true for me.

Oh to hear that message, on this day...it felt like getting a huge bouquet of roses from God. Like He was saying, "Hi honey. Happy Birthday. I love you." And even though things aren't perfect in my life right now, it was a gentle reminder that He's gotten me through worse. That He hasn't looked away. That He is real, and present, and loving, in every moment and every circumstance.

I know, I know. You expected this to be a baby blog. Or maybe some sort of poetry since it's Sunday. But you know what? This soon-to-be son, the words I might have written in rhyme--they're just a part of God's plan for me. And maybe, just maybe, my story might be a part of His plan for you.

I hope so. Because I love how He has rescued me. Because I know some of you, some of you whom I love very much, could use some rescuing, too. Here is what He said to me over half my lifetime ago--perhaps He wants to say it to you today.

"For I know the plans that I have for you,"

declares the Lord,

"plans for welfare and not for calamity

to give you a future

and a hope.

Then you will call upon Me

and come

and pray to Me,

and I will listen to you.

And you will seek Me and find Me,

when you search for Me with all your heart."

--Jeremiah 29:11-13