Having had a few days to adjust, I am slightly less upset about the ultrasound results. Thinking back over previous pregnancies, the doctors have never been good at predicting when my children will arrive--3 weeks off the first time, 1.5 weeks the second time. I have decided they could easily be 3 weeks off again.
Also, I have had no cramping or spotting despite the bleeding they found, although I think I will push for some hormone level tests to be done at my next OB visit. I am having to walk through each day trusting that God has a good plan for this baby. Of course, that is how we are supposed to walk through every day He gives us, but I have found that only during pregnancy--when the health and well-being of my baby is largely out of my control--do I truly act as though I can't handle things on my own.
I have also had occasion to re-discover the blessing of the words "I prayed for you" this week when a good friend who is currently in the midst of quite a trial of her own told me in a recent conversation how she had prayed for me after the ultrasound. It was so comforting to know that she took the time to set aside her own pain and problems to pray for mine--even though everything is probably just fine with the baby, she didn't say so. Instead, she took my concerns to our Heavenly Father and asked Him to watch over His children--both me, and the little one within me. From hundreds of miles away, I felt as if she were holding my hand and giving me a shoulder to lean on. Amazing.
Even more amazing is that instead of simply holding my hand, God has inscribed me into His, as it says in Is 49:16a "See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands..." In His grasp, I can walk through disappointing test results still trusting.
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